Play and Positive Peer Culture
Not long ago we reflected on the role play has in facilitating inclusion. How, through words, a little planning, and intentional small practices, you can begin to embed a culture of inclusivity as you work with and watch your children at play. I also offered, last week, a few reflections on how play does a great deal to upend our adult preconceptions about beauty and aesthetic. Today, I wanted to discuss a few of the ways play contributes to positive peer culture and in doing so I want to focus almost exclusively on a family and some dragons—that is, on children at play.
Play as Collaboration.
Play involves a collaboration between the child and the adult, who provides the time and space and environment for it. More so, however, play is a collaboration between children. I would argue that even when children are not working together on a particular goal, their respect for one another’s space and fantasy world building in play is a form of collaboration. Imagine, for example, two groups of children: one in dramatic play, and another nearby. The children in dramatic play are preparing dinner, while nearby two newly-hatched dragons quickly find their ferocity and begin the search for something to scare.
Even before the dragons move over the dramatic play my teacher senses begin to tingle. There are few more attractive targets for disruptive play than a nearby group of children quietly minding their own business. There are also, if handled well, few more perfect opportunities to watch the children’s work of building their own culture.
Play as Respect for Individual Interests and Differences
The children in dramatic play have just started sitting down for a loud dinner as “the mommy” prepares to return to the table with spaghetti, a pair of dragons roars in, stomping and blowing fire everywhere.
“Go away from here, dragons.” One child says.
“We’ll call you when we need some fire for the grill,” another asserts, crossing their arms across their chest.
The dragons roar fiercely as they depart the area, on to direct their fire at others.
One of the most inspiring things about observing children at play is the ready acknowledgement and acceptance they can have for the worlds created by their peers. The children do not dismiss the reality of dragons, tell a friend that they cannot be a dragon, or otherwise invalidate their peer’s world. They do validate it, and despite articulating that they do not wish to have dragons in their space, the dragon is free to roam about and do as it pleases elsewhere.
Play as Respect for Peer Strengths
Minutes later, our dragons are called back.
“Are you still some dragons?” Mommy asks.
“ROAR! FIRE!” The dragons reply.
The dragons reprise their fierce expressions and Mommy directs them back to the kitchen where the microwave is now broken. Thankfully, the dragons willingly re-offer their fire and afterward sit down with the little family to enjoy the warm meal.
Just as everyone in the wide world has a unique array of strengths, so too in children’s play does each child’s fantasy world bring something unique and different to the table. Those dragons weren’t welcome to destroy dinner, but they were just what the situation called for when it came to heating it up!
Play as an Invitation to Apprenticeship.
As adults, we will not and can not and do not need to try to understand every in and out of a child’s play. Yes, we can admire. Yes, we can appreciate and further. But to plumb the depths of an essential and nuanced process such as this is entirely impossible. Through considering play closely and acknowledging the limits of our understanding, we become apprentices to the experience of the child.
As an apprentice, I welcome the truth that to intervene too soon, to ask a question to satisfy my own curiosity before allowing the children to work trough a situation themselves is disrespectful and robs both the children and myself of a valuable opportunity to learn.
As the children play, I avoid intervening, even when it pushes my own limits. I ask: do I trust the children to communicate with and listen to their peers? If I do, or even if I don’t, will I give them an opportunity to try? An opportunity to show me a new technique or way of doing something that I might not have otherwise attempted?
Even more: Will I allow the children to do this for their peers?
The Results of this Positive Culture.
By providing an environment that permits children to actively create, evolve, and grow their own cultures, we are signaling to them that we trust them and that they are competent. We are giving them chances to show each other that whoever they are, whatever they feel or choose to be, that there is a place for them. No one can do this for a child better than another child.
Happy playing, friends!